Creating change is hard...right?! Well sure, if you are attempting change the old fashioned way...by being hard on yourself, expecting results instantly, having the constant battle within your mind of what you should be doing instead, etc. We've all been there before. As the saying goes, if you change nothing, nothing will change; and so stop attempting to create lasting and powerful beneficial change in your life the same way! Change the way you attempt change!
How you may ask? I am hereto offer a model of thinking and changing with ease that I often give to my clients. The Be, Do, Have model...but before I get into that, Let me mention this:
Often times when we want to change a part of our lives, whether it be a physical aspect, a mental aspect, or an environmental aspect we are attempting to do so from an analytical standpoint; in other words, we are trying to create the change by listing all the logical reasons as to why the change would benefit us.
"I want to lose weight because then I will have more confidence, look better, feel better, be healthier, live longer etc." All correct, all valid, but the thing is change is not created from a logical standpoint...logic can be a good motivator for change, but logic does not change who you are. Logic is a very 'left brain' way of thinking and looking at things. Logic will not win against emotion and identify, 'right brain' ways of thinking.
In order to create strong, lasting change you must create the change to your identity. You must become a healthy person at a core level to easily and permanently lose weight. Logic may help you lose the weight at first, but when the weight is gone and the logical motivation no longer needs to be present in the mind, the old identity of being unhealthy will reappear...this is why so often those who lose weight, put it back on; because they have not become a healthy person...they were just doing healthy things to achieve a goal.
The be, do, have model addresses that. It has you focus on becoming rather than just doing. Emotion will always trump logic, because we are human beings, we crave what feels good, not necessarily what is logical. And at a core level, what feels good is your old, unhealthy habits and ways of being. However, when the identity is addressed, when your identity is changed, everything else happens naturally.
Think about it: if you have the identity of a healthy person your actions will then be that of a healthy person...but if you have the identity of an unhealthy person and are just forcing yourself to do certain actions justified by your logic after you goal is reached it will not be maintained.
It requires much less effort to just be than it does do continuously do. Because when you 'be' healthy, healthy actions are natural consequences, when you 'do' healthy you have to constantly expend energy to 'do'.
This can be applied to any goal not just weight reduction or up-leveling health status.
To grow a business, don't you think it would be easier to just be the type of person who runs a successful business rather than having to constantly logically think about what you need to do? Have an idea of where I am going with this?
Lets dive in! The Be Do Have Model:
BE the type of person that
DOes the types of things to
HAVE what you desire.
Let me elaborate....and perhaps it may be easier to work backwards here. So you know what you want to have...you want to have a loving relationship. For the sake of the example, lets say your loving relationship is defined as honest, loyal, passionate, caring, and supportive. Okay, so what do you need to do in order to have that thing? You need to meet people, go on dates, connect, converse, invest time and energy.
-You know your have, your loving relationship.
-You know your do, to go on dates, etc.
Now who do you have to be in order to do those things? Well to converse and connect, you have to speak up, you need to be someone who can make conversation, who can connect to people - you need to be confident, you need to be honest, you need to be understanding and accepting. You need to be someone who makes the time for dates and connection. You need to be open.
If you are expecting a loving, honest, accepting, supportive relationship to fall into your lap without being someone who can maintain such a thing, you will not be getting that relationship.
A third example. You want to have a successful business. What must you do? Well you must stock product, track inventory, create a web page, network, market, hire, coordinate, scale...of course this is all subjective, some businesses wont have a tangible product to stock and track, but you get what I mean. There are certain things you must do to have a successful business. Now! MOST IMPORTANTLY! Who must you be? What type of person does all those things, and gets those things done! Well you must be productive, energized, social, flexible, proud, willing to take risks, etc.
All of these things you need to be are alterations to your identity. Being is on the identity level. So that is where you need to start on any sort of embark toward change...you need to alter your identity in order to do the things to have the thing. If you work from desiring the 'having' without looking at who you need to be in order to maintain the having of your desire.
So choose, choose constant effort and logic, or choose being, for effortless doing, and consistant having.
Because frankly, you deserve it.
FB: ReRoot Hypnosis & Wellbeing
Want to know how to change your identity easily and effortlessly? Check out my article on hypnosis published in Consciousness Community Magazine: